darned thing...


Now I'm back in my swivel office chair (Ebay £3) at my lovely old oak desk (£250 from a junk shop in Kent) in my newly refurbished office shed in the garden of my family home in Wiltshire… 

This, not the great world out there, is where the real business of being a travel writer happens. I don't make a penny out on the road, it all happens here at my desk with a furrowed brow, mug of Barleycup and a flapjack.

At my desk is where I contact people who are going to pay me and keep in touch with Editors and organisations. This is where I write the pieces that are the sacks of coal of this travel mine. 

If you remember I'd persuaded the Mail on Sunday to commission me to go to Sweden to write a piece on the Gota Canal. I've done the trip, kept my expenses as low as I could, taken as many notes and photos as I'll need. Today I've taken the kids to school and now I'm sitting here with a pile of receipts, brochures and maps tipped from my backpack onto the desk. 

Now comes the tricky part…

I have to sit here are wrote a 1000-word article that's good enough for the six million readers of the Mail on Sunday and the countless millions on the Mail's website, one of the biggest news websites in the world. It has to be written in their style and tell the story with humour, information and colour. It needs a beginning and an end. It needs to done as well as I can do.

I always think anyone can wander round looking at things having a nice time but this is where travel writing becomes hard. 

I usually write without reference to my notes - only looking up to check the occasional fact or quote. The important stuff is firmly lodged in my brain already. In fact one of the writing methods I'd use when facing a blank screen with an unproductive imagination is to think of going into the pub and telling someone about the trip. What would you say first? What's the funniest or most amazing bit of the trip?

I used to use that method to teach young trainee news reporters when I edited newspapers. WHen faced with a notebook full of your research and a head buzzing with different angles, imagine rushing home and telling your best friend what happened. It's a simple trick for organising the information in your head. Well, it works for some people…

Anyway, as well as that prioritising of information, I've also got to bear in mind certain stereotypes, puns and jokes that are the lubricating oil of all the information you have to pass on. Stereotypes for this Sweden trip would be trying to find a link to Abba, Volvo or even herrings. Puns could mean something about "got to go to Gota" and jokes could compare the tiny 50-passenger Diana steamship with my last cruise aboard a 3000-passenger mega cruise ship.

I've been starting the day looking at a blank screen (or piece of typewriter paper) for 30 years so this has become an automatic process by now. I still agonise and dither but I know that an angle and intro will come within an hour and then the copy will flow quickly. It will usually be written, revised, fine-tuned and sent in a day. Look out for the result in the Mail on Sunday or at dailymail.co.uk… tell me what you think.